


Refrain of Memory

by rubylily



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, Nightmares, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 11:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubylily/pseuds/rubylily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Still haunted by the ghosts of the past, Dunban decides to travel to a certain destroyed colony, and he asks Melia to accompany him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Refrain of Memory

Dunban couldn't breathe. Warm, mechanical hands were crushing his throat, and Mumkhar looked down at him, smirking. "This body ain't so bad," he sneered. "I could snap your neck like a twig, or just choke you to death in no time at all."

With his good hand Dunban tried to pry Mumkhar's fingers from his throat. His eyes were beginning to roll back, and red stained his vision. He had little strength left, but even that was enough for him to raise his right arm and stab Mumkhar.

_Stabbed?_ No, that couldn't be…

Dunban looked over at his right arm, and he now wore Mumkhar's preferred clawed weapon, and the blades were lodged in Mumkhar's chest, likely piercing what was left of his heart and lungs. He almost looked like a Homs again…

"You…" Mumkhar hissed, and he coughed blood, much more than physically possible. The dark blood fell onto Dunban's face, and the coppery taste was sharp on his lips.

Dunban pulled his arm back ( _his right arm, he could move it again_ ), slowly and carefully, letting the sound of the blades slicing through flesh fill his ears. Yet Mumkhar's death grip on his throat did not weaken. He could almost smile; if he could die now…

It was in that moment Dunban awoke.

His body soaked in sweat and his breathing rough, he raised a hand to his throat - his left hand, as even in this lack of light he could still see the jagged scars circling his right arm. He was still alive, and he tasted no blood, neither his nor Mumkhar's.

He sat up, running his fingers through his hair. Yes, that had just been a dream, yet another nightmare. This was his bedroom, and he could see the sleeping forms of Shulk and Reyn on the makeshift beds. They often slept over, as did Melia and Sharla, who stayed with Fiora in her bedroom. Dunban smiled despite himself; perhaps Riki was right and he should build a bigger house.

But his smile vanished almost immediately. If he kept having these nightmares, then someone was bound to notice. Fiora already suspected he wasn't sleeping well.

Nightmares were nothing new to Dunban; he had been a soldier, after all. But the nightmares had increased ever since Fiora had regained her Homs body, and they almost always involved Mumkhar. The one who had been his former comrade and had killed Fiora - Dunban still knew so little about him, even though the ruins of his home colony weren't far from here.

Quietly Dunban got out of bed. He doubted he would be getting any more sleep tonight, and he had grown thirsty anyway. He thought briefly of putting on more clothes than just shorts, but it was unlikely anyone else would be awake at this time, and he didn't want to risk waking Shulk or Reyn.

He made his way down the stairs, where a faint light awaited him. "Fiora?" he called out as he entered the kitchen. It was not uncommon for his sister to be awake at this time, although he had hoped she wouldn't be. But his guess was wrong; it was Melia who sat at the table.

Her expression was difficult to read as she turned her gaze toward him. "Could you not sleep either, Dunban?" she asked.

"You could say that," Dunban replied, forcing a smile as he headed over to the sink and grabbed a small glass to fill with water.

Melia kept her eyes on Dunban. She watched him often, he noticed, but it didn't make him uncomfortable. In fact, he found he almost liked the attention. "You do not look well at all," she commented.

Dunban laughed weakly, and once he had his water he sat down at the table across from Melia. "You always seem to see through me," he said. It had been a while since he had last been alone with her like this; either he was busy with Vanea and the others, or she was traveling with Shulk and Fiora to find any trace of her mother's family. They had begun their search shortly after Fiora's recovery, but they still often returned to Colony 9.

He did miss spending time with her like this, and more than once he often thought of offering to help in her quest.

Melia's blue eyes seemed clouded, even in this dim light. "Ever since we returned, you have seemed rather… pensive," she said, as if struggling to find the right word to say.

"Mm." Dunban took a small sip of water before saying anything more. "You are right, something has been bothering me. I just…" His fingers tightened around his glass, and he tried to smile. "Melia, have you been to the ruined colony west of Gaur Plains?" The name still sounded awkward on his lips; it was now used to refer to the whole of the area once known as Bionis' Leg instead of such a small portion. After all, they no longer lived on the body of a giant.

"Hm?" Melia blinked in surprise. "N-No, I have not. Why do you ask?"

Dunban inhaled a deep breath to calm his racing heart. Melia was strong, he knew, and he could rely on her. "It's the colony that Mumkhar told me he was from," he explained, trying to keep his voice steady. "I wanted to see if I could find something there, and perhaps you would find something about your mother as well."

Melia turned her face away, and she was silent for a few moments. "That is… doubtful, as Second Consorts typically came from colonies closer to Alcamoth," she said. "But if that is your wish, then I will be happy to accompany you."

A soft smile upon his lips, Dunban stood up and laid a hand on Melia's shoulder. "Thank you. I know it's a selfish request, but I would rather have you by my side than to go alone."

"I understand, Dunban." Melia gently pressed his hand between her jaw and shoulder. "If this can help ease your nightmares, then I shall support you in any way I can."

"Melia…" So it was obvious to others he was having nightmares too frequently, he thought bitterly. Carefully, he pulled his hand back, not wanting to lose that feel of Melia's warmth. "I should be returning to bed now. Don't stay up too much longer, all right?"

Melia simply nodded in response, and she watched Dunban close as he left the kitchen and went up the stairs to his bedroom. He could be so shameless sometimes, she thought, but it was nice he was growing more comfortable around her and the others, especially to expose his right arm so openly.

She laid a hand over her chest. Her heart still beat rapidly, and she was thankful that Dunban had not seemed to hear it.

Reaching for the glass he had used, she noticed that it was still mostly full. She brought it to her mouth, and when her lips touched the rim, she downed the rest of the water.

Would he be disturbed by her feelings? But she had no fear of that; she had learned to hide her feelings well. During Fiora's convalescence, she had stayed by Dunban's side as often as she could, and she had seen firsthand the depths of his kindness and strength. He tried to carry so many burdens alone, and she only wanted to support him from the shadows, as she had done with Shulk.

So what if it left her empty inside? Sharla would be so disappointed in her, she knew, but she was fine with how things were now.

And even if she could, would he…?

Trying to push those thoughts out of her mind, Melia stood up and placed the glass into the sink and then began to make her way back to Fiora's bedroom. Unlike Dunban, she rarely dreamed lately. But simply nothing did not mean a peaceful sleep, and this pain in her heart was all too familiar.

She wondered how much longer she would have to wear this mask.

* * *

Even after the fall of Bionis and Mechonis, the layout of the world was still relatively the same. One could still take the same path from Colony 9 to Colony 6, or from Frontier Village to Eryth Sea and Alcamoth. The Fallen Arm was still in the ocean near where Sword Valley had once been, but it was mostly abandoned, its residents preferring now to live along the Homs, Nopon, and High Entia. The world seemed so small now, but Shulk had seemed confident that it would someday expand beyond its once self-imposed limits.

In any case, Dunban was just thankful that old maps were still useful in this new world with no need for gods.

He and Melia had set out early for the abandoned colony, as it hadn't taken them long to collect supplies for the journey. Shulk, Reyn, Fiora, and Sharla hadn't seemed too surprised by these sudden plans, although Dunban was certain that only Fiora suspected the real reason for this trip.

By afternoon Dunban and Melia had cleared Tephra Cave (both of them were relieved that the stronger, more violent animals typically preferred the hidden, easily avoidable areas) and found themselves in the vastness of Gaur Plains.

Dunban inhaled a deep breath, and it had been quite some time since he had last traveled through such an open area. Spotting a shaded area near a lake, he said, "We can rest here for a bit."

Melia adjusted the strap of the bag she was carrying. "But I am not yet tired," she protested. "I can still go on."

Dunban chuckled. "Even if you're not tired, it's still a good idea to rest every so often." He sat down on the ground right at the edge of the lake, leaning his back against a tree. He held out a canteen for Melia and said, "Have some water."

Without saying anything in response, Melia sat down next to Dunban and accepted the canteen, unscrewing the top and then drinking the water carefully.

Dunban watched her closely; she only drank a little bit of the water, and her expression was hard to read. She was more guarded around him lately, he had noticed, even though he often caught her staring at him.

"Dunban?" she said, her eyes darting over to him. "Is something the matter?"

"Ah, it's nothing, nothing at all," he replied, quickly averting his gaze.

She handed the canteen back to him. "I am still surprised you chose me as a companion for this trip," she said. "Wouldn't Fiora or Shulk have been better choices?"

Dunban's body tensed, and he felt his heart pounding against his chest. "No, I… believed you would be able to understand me best."

Melia frowned, and there was a faraway look in her blue eyes. "Is it because of what conversation we had about that man?" She still could not bring herself to say Mumkhar's name if she could help it. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious as well, but…"

Dunban laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "I'm being selfish, I know, and for that I apologize, but it's simply that…" _You are strong. You see right through me._

"Oh, not many Hom Hom or Bird People come out here!" A high-pitched female voice cut through Dunban's thoughts, and both he and Melia saw a violet-furred Nopon with two pack Armus standing in front of them.

Melia could not help but smile. "Hello," she greeted in a polite tone. "My name is Melia, and my friend here is called Dunban. And you are?"

"Aza is Aza!" the Nopon answered, bouncing into the air. "Happy to meet you both! Where are you two headed?"

"A colony west of these plains," Dunban explained, still wondering how he had missed hearing the approach of the two Armus. He was normally not so easily distracted. "It's been abandoned for a long time, I believe.

"That very sad place," Aza said, wrapping her wings tighter around her little body. "But Aza has to pass by there… Wait, she knows! It be safer to go together! Hom Hom and Bird Lady can ride Armus!"

Dunban glanced at the two domesticated Armus; even wild ones were fairly docile, so there were no concerns there. "Are you sure? It would not be too much trouble?"

Aza smiled brightly. "No trouble at all! Be there by nightfall!"

Melia stood and dusted off her dress. "Then it is settled," she said in a regal tone. "We will accept your kindness, Aza."

Aza seemed elated at the prospect of having two new traveling friends. She led Dunban and Melia to the second Armu, and Dunban helped her climb onto it before getting on behind her. She sat sidesaddle, with her back against Dunban's good arm, and he held onto the reins. Aza then climbed onto the first Armu and then they were off.

The midday sun shone brightly, and it felt especially warm as the sword of Mechonis no longer provided shade. Even so, Aza tried to lead the Armus toward areas heavier on shade, so the heat was not too much of a bother.

Still, Dunban wasn't entirely comfortable. Melia was so close to him, and his arm was right against her back, supporting her as he gripped the reins. She didn't make eye contact with him, and he swore he could see a hint of red on her cheeks.

Finally Melia broke the silence. "Aza is kind, don't you think? A little like Riki, perhaps…"

"Do you miss him?" Dunban asked, trying to smile for Melia.

"A bit, yes," she replied, turning her head to meet Dunban's gaze. "But he did tell me a while ago that he was planning to bring his family to visit Colony 9 soon, so I will not need to miss him for much longer."

"Yes, he told me that as well," Dunban said. "His visits are becoming more frequent. He once even suggested I should build a bigger house so that his family could live with Fiora and me. I'm beginning to believe he was quite serious about that."

A faint laugh slipped from Melia's lips. "That certainly does sound like him."

"Ah, couple know Heropon?" Aza interjected, her voice almost impossibly cheerful. "Aza nieceypon friends with his littlepon!"

Dunban's face grew warm and his throat went dry, so he couldn't reply, and he felt Melia's body shaking against his. "We are… simply Riki's friends, yes," she forced out, her voice hardly audible.

Aza laughed. "Aza make mistake? But she usually right about this kind of thing…" And she laughed again, this time with a gleam Dunban couldn't quite place.

Neither he nor Melia choose to respond to Aza's quip, and they continued the journey mostly in silence. By nightfall the gates of the abandoned colony were in view, but the three of them decided to make camp in a small clearing a little bit west of the gates.

It didn't take long to set up camp, and Melia used her ether to create a small fire for warmth and cooking. The meal was uneventful, and mostly consisted of Aza explaining the path she planned to take; Colony 6 was her destination, and after that she would travel to Frontier Village. After the three of them were finished eating, it was decided that they would sleep now, and the fire was put out.

Aza slept near her Armus, and Melia slept next to Dunban. They each had their own blanket, although Dunban still shared some of his with Melia. As she fell into a deep sleep, he stared at the night sky. It was clear, and thousands of stars were visible. Shulk had told him once that their world was shaped differently now, similar to the celestial spheres they had seen in Zanza's space memory. The world no longer stretched into infinity, but was more like a continuous loop.

Truth be told, Dunban didn't quite understand Shulk's words yet. But no matter how the world was shaped, it had returned his sister to him, and that was enough.

He closed his eyes, and he almost thought he imagined Melia shifting closer to him as sleep overcame him.

* * *

He could use both arms again, and he was starting to understand why Mumkhar had loved these clawed weapons so. Over and over he slashed at Mumkhar, each new wound deeper than the last.

Metal body of a Mechon, red blood of a Homs - none of that mattered to Dunban. He only wanted to kill Mumkhar with his own hands.

"Die, die, just die already!"

Mumkhar made no moves to defend himself or fight back, but he still wore that dark, smug grin Dunban had grown to hate.

Hate. He hated this man, this traitor, this comrade…

Dunban licked the blood off of his lips. His body was covered in Mumkhar's blood, and it tasted sweet on his tongue.

He stabbed the claws of his right arm (the blades had fused into the skin, and _it hurt, it hurt so much, but he didn't care_ ) into Mumkhar's hollow chest. Mumkhar wrapped his fingers around the blades, and more blood dripped from his mouth.

A gunshot then rang out, and something sliced through Dunban's neck and he could no longer breathe. Blood gushed from the wound piercing his throat, and his vision darkened as a familiar voice filled his ears.

_"Stupid beast."_

Clutching his bleeding throat, he fell to his knees as his body shook violently, and he heard another voice, one that seemed much closer to him somehow.

"Dunban, wake up, please!"

Forcing his eyes open, Dunban's vision was still accustomed to the darkness of night, and he saw Melia and Aza fretting over him. Aza held a piece of cloth in her wings, with which she used to swab sweat from his brow, and he noticed that his cravat was undone and his shirt partially unbuttoned, as Melia was wiping sweat from his throat and chest.

"You were thrashing and screaming!" Aza explained, her high-pitched voice frantic. "As if in great pain!"

Melia leaned in close to Dunban. "Are you all right, Dunban?" she asked in a much softer tone of voice.

Dunban sat up, and he realized that Melia was tightly clutching his left hand. He hoped that she would not notice his blush in this dim light. "It was… just a nightmare," he finally said.

"'Just a nightmare'?" Melia repeated, her eyes narrowing. "You were screaming that man's name! Fiora told me that you often muttered in your sleep, but she said nothing about you screaming!"

Dunban's fingers tightened around Melia's, and he sighed deeply. "Melia, I'm sorry. I did not mean to disturb you or Aza."

Melia's expression softened, but she still frowned. "I am worried about you, Dunban. I cannot imagine that constantly experiencing nightmares of that magnitude is healthy."

"Bird Lady right!" Aza added, laying a wing on Dunban's shoulder. "Aza not pry, but she still want to see you feel better. Bird Lady can hold hand until you asleep. It very comforting!"

"No, that is not nec-" Dunban began to protest, but he was silenced by Melia placing her finger over his lips.

"It is fine, Dunban," Melia stated, her voice firm. "I promised I would support you, did I not?"

Dunban only sighed again in response, but he still managed a small smile, hoping to calm Melia. He did not appreciate being treated like a child, but he didn't have the energy to argue. He lay down on the grass, and she pulled the blanket over him, all while making sure she didn't release his hand.

Exhaustion soon came over Dunban, and the last thing he was aware of before falling asleep was the warmth of Melia's fingers around his.

* * *

No more nightmares assaulted Dunban that night, and by the time dawn broke, the small party of three was already awake. After a quick breakfast, it didn't take them long to reach the gate of the destroyed colony, and Aza seemed reluctant to get too close to the entrance.

"This as far as Aza goes," she said to Dunban and Melia. "Friends be careful, okay? And come visit Aza in Frontier Village soon!"

Melia smiled. "We will," she promised. "Do take care of yourself, Aza."

"Thank you for your help," Dunban added.

Aza grinned and clapped her wings together. She then tugged on the reins of her pack Armus and started in the opposite direction of the colony, and it wasn't long until she was out of sight.

Dunban and Melia turned toward the colony. The wall surrounding it had mostly crumbled, and moss covered what remained. Dunban knew it had been abandoned sometime fifteen years ago; Mumkhar had only been a teenager when he had come to Colony 9 alone.

Together he and Melia entered the colony, passing through the broken entrance of the gate, and she stayed close to his side (or was it him who stayed close to her? He couldn't tell). It was difficult to believe that this colony had once been more thriving than Colony 9. Tall buildings were merely hollow shells of their former glory, and debris littered the streets. Stairs were a common sight, as there were several levels to this place, and even they were falling into disrepair, and the guardrails lining the ledges were rusted and bent. There was even the occasional broken, rusted Mechon.

Nature was also beginning to reclaim the area. Grass grew between the cracks in the concrete on the various levels, and as Dunban and Melia wandered the area they were careful to watch their step. The signs they passed were faded to the point of illegibility, and the ether lamps were broken and useless as ivy and moss twisted around their bases.

It was an eerie feeling, as if they were back in Agniratha, and an uncomfortable silence fell over the two of them. The only sound was a river flowing in the distance, and there didn't even seem to be any animals around either.

"Dunban," Melia began to say, and her voice was quiet, even though there was no one around to overhear them, "there were once ten Homs colonies, correct?"

Dunban nodded. "Once, yes. And all were under attack by the Mechon for as long as anyone could remember, and it was sometime in the last several decades that they began to fall."

Melia wrapped her arms protectively around herself, as if trying to ward off a sudden chill. "After my mother passed away, I had heard that the colonies near Alcamoth were being overtaken, but by then the High Entia had begun to seclude themselves, so I heard little news. But… Colony 9 was generally safer because of its location, or that is what I have heard."

A sorrowful smile came upon Dunban's lips. "That was true to some extent, but Colony 9 was still not invulnerable. Fiora and I lost our father during a Mechon attack, and when I was eighteen and she was only six, we were attacked again, and I very nearly lost her. I wanted to become stronger so I could protect her and my home."

Melia bit her lower lip. "Dunban, I… I apologize. I should not have made such an insensitive statement."

"Please don't worry," he replied, waving his hand. "If it's you, then I'm happy to answer any questions you have, Melia."

A faint blush came across her cheeks. "If you say so, Dunban…"

Once again, silence fell over them, and Melia seemed to put a little more space between her and Dunban. Still, he noticed her stealing glances at him, but he pretended not to notice. His heart began to race; if those blue eyes stayed on him, he felt as if he was going to crack soon.

He was being selfish. Her presence used to be comforting to him, but now guilt filled him. He wanted to stay close to her, but he couldn't show weakness, he had to stay strong for her…

Why didn't he bring Fiora with him instead? She was his sister, and he loved her. She had seen him at his worst, so he could trust her. But these feelings were different…

Melia laid her hand on Dunban's arm, startling him, and he hoped his expression didn't betray his surprise. "Dunban, you're shaking," she said. "What is wrong?"

Dunban could not help but smile, ironic as it was. No matter what shields he put up, she could always see right through them, and perhaps she saw something that was hidden even from him. "It is difficult not to get emotional in a place like this," he explained. "I'm reminded of Fiora. When she was taken from me, I thought I had forever lost my only family, my reason for living. To enjoy this new world with her - it is not something I wish to take for granted."

"Is that your reason for wishing to learn something more about Mumkhar?" Melia asked, her voice almost hesitating when she spoke his name.

Dunban's fingers flexed and then curled into a fist. "I suppose I haven't managed to make peace with him yet," he said. "I simply… want to discover what has been hidden from me, if such a thing exists."

By this point, the two of them had reached the residential district. As with Colony 9, most of the buildings were connected, and only a few were over a story in height. All were in some degree of disrepair, with broken windows and crumbling gates, and some had even collapsed entirely. Wild plants had overtaken any gardens, and the streets were cracked and uneven.

This area was on one of the upper levels, and a thin rail lined the street on the opposite side of the houses. It overlooked what had once been a commercial district, although now it looked like a haphazard fusion of buildings in even worse disrepair and wild plants.

"How desolate," Melia commented, looking over the rusted railing. "It almost feels as if we are inside a tomb of some sort."

"Then perhaps exploring would be like desecrating a person's grave, though that can't be helped if we wish to find something," Dunban mused. He then laid his hand on Melia's shoulder. "Melia, we would cover more ground if we split up, especially as we have different goals."

"Are you certain?" she asked, and he felt her body tense. "You do not need to be alone…"

"Melia, please." His voice was firm; he did not wish for her to see him full of grief and hatred.

She sighed. "If that is your wish," she said, lowering her eyes, and she touched the pole of a broken ether lamp. "We will reunite at this point when the sun begins to set."

"Thank you, Melia," he said, nodding. Without saying anything else, he pulled his hand from her shoulder and turned around to walk in the opposite direction as her.

When had he become so selfish? He couldn't keep relying on her to support him…

Dunban picked a house at random; the door was unlocked, but the hinges were broken, so he could've simply knocked it down if he had too. Even so, he still tried to be careful. Even if this place was abandoned, he didn't want to cause any more damage than he had to.

At first glance, this house was fairly sparse. Dust covered what few pieces of furniture remained, and the stairs to the upper level had collapsed and there was even a giant hole in the ceiling, so Dunban could see into the floor above, but just barely, as it was too dark to really make anything out.

He stood in what he assumed had once been the living room, and he carefully maneuvered himself around the room, avoiding the piles of rubble and glass that littered the floor. The windows were shattered, and the paint on the broken walls had long since peeled off. There was a partially filled bookshelf on one end of the room, but otherwise there was nothing of interest.

What exactly was he looking for? Photographs? Letters? Or just some proof that Mumkhar had existed in this colony? He had no idea who this house could have belonged to; indeed, he had a hard time imagining anyone had once lived here. Mumkhar had never talked about his life before arriving in Colony 9, so Dunban knew nothing of what kind of life he had led here. And now he was searching blindly for something that may or may not have existed.

He did not search very carefully. He felt like an intruder; how long had it been since a person last stood where he was standing? This place was like a grotesque memorial to the fallen, and his presence was enough to disturb the creeping peace.

He tried the kitchen next. He had wanted to explore the bedrooms, but they were likely on the upper level, and the stairs had crumbled to the point it would be too risky to try climbing them. In any case, when he entered the kitchen, he almost gagged as the stench of rotten food invaded his nostrils. On the table plates were set out, filled with once fresh fruits and meat, as if the family had been in the middle of eating before…

Dunban didn't finish that thought. Fighting back the urge to vomit, he left the kitchen as quickly as he had entered it.

Making one last search of the living room, he found nothing and left this house. People had lived here once, he couldn't argue that, but there was such a void that it was almost sickening. How long had that food been rotting? Hadn't anyone tried returning to this colony after its destruction? Or did people simply avoid it, not wanting to be reminded of a painful past?

Mumkhar had lived here once, or so he had claimed. He had existed, there was no doubt about that; the pain he had caused Dunban was proof of that. So there had to be something to find here…

Dunban tried the next house, and again he found nothing of importance. The thickness of the dust was enough to make him choke as he dug around, wanting to find something, anything at all. How long had this place sat untouched and undisturbed, preserved so perfectly as if forgotten by time?

He felt sick. He shouldn't be here, his presence was unwanted, unneeded.

An internal voice screamed at him, telling him to forget the past and deal with the pain and hate he still felt. But he had to find something. He couldn't quit now.

He had been a soldier, so he had seen more than his fair share of death. But a lingering presence of death was something one could never grow accustomed to.

He tried another house. And then another, and another. As the sun dipped closer to the horizon, he still had found nothing. There weren't even any corpses, but of course there wouldn't be, he thought bitterly, as they had probably been collected for harvesting, just as Fiora and Mumkhar had been.

Why had Mumkhar been allowed to keep his Homs memories? Was it because his hatred of Dunban made it easy for Egil to manipulate him? Why had he been so willing to join the very people who had destroyed his home?

But Dunban already knew the answer to those questions. Because hate against a single individual and a desire for power were fierce motivators, but a horrific combination. He had felt the very same when he had tried to kill Mumkhar while powered by the Monado's enchantment.

He finally reached the end of the street, which overlooked a small park on the lower level. His body felt weak, and he had found nothing at all. His clothes and hair were covered in dust and dirt, and his breathing was rough and coarse. It was almost dusk, and there was a still a few houses he had not been able to get into, but perhaps if he was careful, he would be able to dig through the wreckage…

He looked down at his good arm; he was such a mess right now. He had not seen Melia at all since they had separated, and he was almost thankful for that. What would she think if she could see him now?

"Damn it…" he swore, grabbing onto a nearby ether lamp for support. His head hurt, and he had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Almost as if he was ready to burst.

"Why couldn't I find anything?" he screamed, to no one in particular. He could clearly imagine Mumkhar's face, that same dark, mocking leer. "Mumkhar, why do you still haunt me? Is it because I couldn't save you? Because I couldn't kill you with my own hands?"

He fell to his knees, his body quaking. That ill feeling had grown unbearable, and he could not help but finally vomit. Even when surrounded by death, he had not felt this nauseous in a long time. He could barely breathe, as if the very atmosphere of this forgotten place was trying to crush him.

Caught between guilt and hate, he could no longer tell the difference.

"Mumkhar, if I could…" he muttered as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Leaning against the ether lamp, he tried to stand, but his legs still felt too weak to support him.

"Dunban?" In the light of the setting sun, Dunban could see Melia approaching him, her soft voice clear as day.

His eyes widened in fear. She couldn't see him like this…

She rushed up to him and knelt in front of him, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Was has happened?" she asked, her eyes filled with worry. "Are you ill?"

Dunban bit his lower lip, hard enough to almost draw blood. Why did she have to find him now, when he was so weak? "Melia…" he said, his heart pounding so hard against his chest it almost hurt. She was so close to him now, far too close… He wrapped his good arm around her back, pulling her closer and burying his face in her shoulder to hide his tears. "Stay with me, just for a little bit, please…"

He was being selfish again, he realized. The only thing connecting them was loss; Mumkhar had killed their loved ones and they had both desired revenge and the truth, and she was still so young by High Entia standards, so he could not keep relying on her like this. He would only bring her pain, reminding her of what she had lost.

Still, he hoped she would be able to forgive him just this once.

"Dunban…" was Melia's only reply, and while her voice carried some element of surprise, it was still strangely gentle. She embraced him, lightly stroking his long hair to comfort him. "I…" Her voice dropped to a whisper, and Dunban didn't quite catch what she said, but at the very least it had sounded pleasant.

* * *

By the time the two of them had made their way to the river bank, night was beginning to fall, but there was still enough light with which to see somewhat clearly. Dunban, wanting to clean all the dust and dirt off himself, had stripped down to his underwear and had gotten into the river's water. Melia sat upon the soft bank, waiting for him to finish and watching him closely.

She had found nothing concerning her mother's family, but that had been expected. She still held hope, though; there were more colonies she had yet to explore, and if she asked around, there was a chance she would discover some remnant of her mother's family in either Colony 9 or Colony 6. Shulk and Fiora still offered their support, for which Melia was eternally grateful. She would discover something someday, and she would not be alone. She could finally accept that after all these years.

But while she had not been disappointed at not finding anything, something still bothered her. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. After Dunban had broken down and embraced her, he had barely said anything while they had headed for the river. She had never seen him in such a state, and it worried her. She knew he took on much pain silently, but she had not realized the true extent of the pain he carried within himself. It was a miracle he was still sane.

But perhaps the same could be said of her as well.

Dunban had not swum out very far - the water came up to his chest - so Melia could still see him clearly. The water on his body glistened in the dying sunlight, and he scrubbed his skin with much force that she was afraid he would cause himself to start bleeding. But he hardly seemed to notice her right now, so she could not bring herself to say anything.

Still, she couldn't help but stare at him, and not simply because he was mostly naked. Yes, she would allow herself to think him attractive, but her feelings ran deeper than that. He was kind, almost too kind, and she wanted to help him shoulder his burdens, to support him when he needed it as he helped her many times before. She would not insult his strength by implying he needed to be protected and shielded from pain, but sometimes when she looked at him, he appeared to be consumed by such overwhelming loneliness that it was simply too much to bear.

"Dunban, you are not alone," Melia muttered to herself. "I am here for you, and so are Fiora and the others..."

"Melia?" Dunban called out, turning to face her. The scarring on his right arm was clearly visible, and she felt her chest tighten. "Did you say something?"

"How are you feeling?" she asked, dodging his question so that she wouldn't have to lie.

Dunban turned his face away, and he almost seemed to be smiling but not quite. "Cleaner, I suppose."

"That is..." Melia trailed off; she wasn't quite sure of what else to say, and she hated it. Dunban was quite clearly in pain, but she still did not reach out to him. If she could not support even one person very precious to her, then what right did she have to call herself an empress?

Appearing not to notice her poor attempt at a response, Dunban swam closer to the shore, although the water still reached his waist. He wrapped his good arm around himself, and Melia could see his teeth chattering and his body shivering. He had been in the water for quite some time, she noticed.

"Dunban, are you not cold?" she asked, raising her voice. The question sounded silly to her ears, but if Dunban fell ill...

"Perhaps you are right, Melia," he replied, laughing, although it was an empty laugh. "But there was far more dust in those houses than I expected."

Melia did not press the issue, but she knew that wasn't the only reason he wanted to clean himself so. He was avoiding the subject, not even mentioning if he had found anything, though considering he had been empty-handed when they had reunited, the answer was quite clear.

She still felt the warmth of his sudden embrace, and the memory sent a shiver down her spine. Her heart felt as if it was being torn in two - to finally hold him, to feel him so closely, but he had looked so vulnerable, so broken, she felt a sharp pang of guilt. He was strong, she knew that, but...

"Melia, are you all right?" Dunban's deep voice was startling, and he had gotten out of water and was now kneeling at Melia's side. His face was so close to hers, too close. "You're…"

Trying to hold back her tears, she turned her face away, a deep crimson blush forming on her cheeks. "Have you no shame?" she snapped, more harshly than she had intended. "You should dress yourself before you grow too cold."

Dunban laughed (a good-natured laugh, much to Melia's relief). "Of course, you are right," he agreed, and he walked over to the makeshift camp to retrieve his clothes, and she kept her back to him to give him privacy as he dried and dressed himself.

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve as she bit her lip to muffle a sob. She almost hoped this night would never end. When they returned to Colony 9, would they continue to remain in this rut?

* * *

_The day Fiora had regained her Homs body had been the happiest day of Dunban's life. When she had returned home after spending the day with Shulk, he had hugged her so tightly, but she was so much stronger, more mature now, that he knew she would not break._

_For several months he had agonized over her recovery, wanting nothing more than to see her again. Aiding Vanea and the others had proved a welcomed distraction, but his heart had still been filled with constant anxiety. All of them - Shulk, Reyn, Sharla, Melia, and Riki - had waited for Fiora. Melia had spent the most time at his side, waiting with him, her presence strangely comforting._

_Fiora returned her brother's embrace, pressing her face against his chest to listen to his heartbeat. "I'm sorry I made you wait," she said. "I know you didn't want to break down in front of Vanea and everyone else."_

_"It's all right," Dunban replied, gently stroking her short hair. He was crying, but only she could see his tears. "I'm so happy for you... I can't even describe this joy..." He lightly kissed her forehead, something he had not done since she had been a little girl._

_Even though Fiora had completely recovered, Dunban realized that things could never return to how they had once been. The pain of losing his sister would always be present in his heart, and he still would never be able to forgive Mumkhar for what he had done. But Fiora was_ alive, _so maybe he would finally be able to remember how to be happy in this new world for them._

* * *

Dunban couldn't sleep. Or rather, he didn't want to sleep, fearful of the nightmares that would attack him during the night. He shivered; he leaned against a tall tree not far from the river, and his shirt was only partially buttoned. For some reason, he had been struggling with the buttons - perhaps his fingers really had grown too cold - and he had not bothered with his cravat, so his throat was still bare.

Melia handed Dunban a blanket. "If you are cold, use this," she said quietly. It was not so cold that they felt the need for a fire, as they had packed enough blankets to keep them warm during the night.

"Thank you," Dunban replied, and he gently seized her arm before she could pull away. "You can stay beside me if you wish." It was not so strange a request, he hoped, especially as he had given her an opening to refuse.

She hesitated for a moment, and then sat down next to him, and he shared some of the blanket with her. "So… you did not find anything?" she asked, her eyes downcast.

"Nothing of importance," Dunban answered. He hadn't known what exactly he had been looking for, so what else had he expected? "And what of you, Melia?"

She simply shook her head in response.

Silence fell over the two of them, and he became more acutely aware of her body heat. When he had been bathing, he had felt her eyes on him, as if they were burning right through his very soul. She kept drawing near him, despite his own indecisiveness. Either he pushed her away, or ended up pulling her too close too quickly. Maybe she could understand him, if he was honest for once…

Or else he would break the fragile bond between them.

Melia's hand brushed against Dunban's, sending a jolt down his spine. "Do you not want to sleep?" she asked.

He sighed. "I… I am simply tired of nightmares," he admitted. He had to say something now, and he only hoped he could find the right words. "I keep dreaming of killing Mumkhar with my own hands, with his claws, and then sometimes I'm killed by Dickson."

Melia lips thinned, and she pulled her knees to her chest. "They… were your friends, correct? I cannot even imagine what their betrayal must have felt like…"

"Friends, hm?" Dunban repeated. "I seem to be a rather poor judge of character. I ignored Mumkhar's hatred of me, and Dickson was always lying to me…"

Melia turned to face him, and her arm moved as if she wanted to touch him, but then thought better of it. "Dunban…"

"I…" He leaned his head back and pressed his fingers against his forehead. His eyes hurt, although it was not quite the same feeling of suppressed tears. "My feelings toward Dickson are complicated, to say the least. It is Shulk's place to judge him, not mine. But Mumkhar… I still hate him, and even now a part of me wishes I had been the one to take his life."

Melia said nothing in response, but her expression was fill of worry and her mouth slightly open, as if she did want to say something, but wasn't sure what.

"To kill someone I hate," Dunban went on; he felt sick to his stomach, but he could not stop himself. He had to be honest now, even if it meant he disgusted Melia. "That makes me no better than him. I'm horrible, aren't I…?"

"No!" she yelled, grabbing his shoulders. "You aren't like that man at all! It is natural to hate sometimes, but you simply cannot let it consume you!"

Dunban let out a derisive, hollow laugh. "You can say that because you have not seen my true thoughts. You are always watching me, so you should know what I'm truly like."

Without warning Melia seized his face, her nails digging into his skin, and she was almost on top of him. Her face was red, likely out of frustration or embarrassment. "Dunban, stop this!" she demanded, her voice firm. "Yes, I have watched you closely, and that is how I know you are truly a good person. I stayed by your side while Fiora recovered, so I have learned a great deal about you. I may not understand all your thoughts, but you are very kind, and you have supported me through so much, and I wish to do the same for you. Dunban, I care about you…" Her grip eased, and her hands were warm against Dunban's face.

"Melia…" He trailed off, unsure of what else to say. She was so close to him now, and even in this dim light she looked so beautiful. "You have seen me at my worst. How can you still…?"

A soft smile came upon her lips. "Dunban, you are not alone. We are all here for you. I am here for you, and I want to stay by your side. If you trusted me enough to ask me to take this journey with you, then surely…"

Dunban couldn't reply. What else could he say, when those clear blue eyes saw right through him? He raised his hand to touch Melia's face, and then his lips met hers.

He wanted to be stronger, to help all those he cared about. The past couldn't be forgotten, but it didn't exist to haunt him.

Melia wrapped her arms around his shoulders to deepen the kiss, and he pressed his good hand against the nape of her neck to bring her closer. They held the kiss for a while, and he watched her through half-lidded eyes. How long had she waited for this, and how much longer would she wait for him?

Finally they broke the kiss, and she rested her head on his chest while he played with her hair and stroked her soft head-wings.

"I must be quite selfish indeed, to be in such pain and to keep relying on you to comfort me like this," Dunban mused, although his faint smile was sincere.

Melia laughed weakly. "It is all right to reply on others once in a while. Shulk was the one who taught me that." Her voice faltered just slightly when she spoke Shulk's name.

He curled a finger around a strand of her hair. "Still, this is not quite the appropriate time," he said, his smile vanishing. "There are things I need to resolve first, so… I will have my answer for you soon."

"Then I will wait," she promised. She raised her head to kiss his cheek, and then added, "I trust you."

"Melia, thank you…" was all he could say, and he lowered his face, hoping she would not see the tears forming in his eyes.

Even if he was too old for her by Homs standards, even if she someday found someone more suitable, even when she outlived him, there was no reason to his feelings. But he was still grateful to her.

* * *

No one lived on the Fallen Arm anymore, and though it was only a little ways into the ocean, few ever visited it. There was no reason to - nature was reclaiming the land, and the mindless Mechons that had once terrorized the Machina were breaking down.

Dunban had taken a boat to the Fallen Arm instead of the Havres Dickson had given him and the others when they had first landed on this place. There was no need to continue to use something Dickson had offered them and that Lorithia had created…

The wreckage of Metal Face was Dunban's goal, and it hadn't taken him long to reach it. "I'm sorry, I should've done this a long time ago," he said after he had removed the spire from Metal Face's body, and now he was trying to force open the chest plate. He was trying to be careful, as he didn't want to desecrate Mumkhar's grave any more than he had too.

When the chest cover was finally off, Dunban steeled himself for the worst. Black blood stained the inside of the cockpit (and even when dry Homs blood never got that dark, Dunban knew), and it also looked as if Mumkhar had coughed up quite a bit of dark blood before he had died, and said blood stained his lips and chest. His shoulder and arm had nearly been sliced off, and broken, rusted circuitry was visible.

Dunban reached out and gently touched Mumkhar's face. What remained of his skin was pallid and rough, and his eyes were closed and an unreadable expression was forever etched on his face. "Mumkhar, how much pain were you in…?" Dunban whispered. He could clearly see just how machine-like Mumkhar's body had become - so this was what Fiora and Gadolt had also gone through.

Carefully Dunban pulled Mumkhar's body from Metal Face. It proved to be rather difficult; Mumkhar's joints and spine were also rusted, and his body was stiff and unyielding, exactly like a corpse should've been. Still, Dunban persevered, and once Mumkhar's body was free, he put Mumkhar's arm on his shoulders and wrapped his good arm around his waist. Unsurprisingly, Mumkhar's body was heavy and he had always been taller, but Dunban would not complain.

This weight was real, and there was no doubt this body had once belonged to his former comrade.

While carrying Mumkhar's body, Dunban made his way toward the beach, and it didn't take him long to reach his destination. He stepped into the water without removing his boots first, and once the water reached his waist he stopped. In the distance he could see the land once known as Bionis, and beyond that the head of the fallen giant was barely visible.

Once, it had been custom to submerge the dead in the water, as a way of returning life born of Bionis to Bionis. But to put it more simply, all were born from water, the source of all life, so the tradition still continued in this new era.

"Mumkhar, please find peace…" Dunban said, and slowly he let Mumkhar's body slip from his hold, and he gave the corpse a small push into the water. He watched Mumkhar gradually sink deeper and deeper into the ocean, and he let out the breath he had subconsciously been holding in.

The nightmares would not stop immediately, he knew, and it was unlikely they would ever cease completely. The pain in his heart would always be present; two of his closest friends had betrayed him, and yet now he could only think of the times they had risked their own lives to save his.

"Mumkhar… Dickson…" Dunban did not move from the water right away, wishing to wait until his eyes were dry first.

As the sun began to set, he left the water and found Melia waiting for him on the beach. She had come with him to the Fallen Arm, but had left him alone when he had needed to be.

"Melia," Dunban said, a small smile forming on his lips. His heart felt a little lighter as he approached her.

Melia said nothing in response; she merely smiled and offered her hand to Dunban, which he accepted without hesitation. Her warm fingers closed around his, and he drew her close, growing more thankful for her presence. She still had her own journey to complete, and when she did, he would have his answer for her.


End file.
